Naomi is getting Sisterlocks

I’ve posted before about our braiding experiences ~ it's just not that nostalgic mother-daughter bonding time that that I’ve read about in folk literature. It is more a time of impatience, short tempers, fussing, and scowling -- from both of us. Every weekend we would struggle over when to do hair, how to do hair, and more often than I would like to admit we would just skip it and go for the puffy bun. Not that it didn’t look just cuter than cute - the first day. But it succumbs to the fuzzies by Day 2 and even my best attempt at small braids would last a week at most. I refuse to surrender to chemicals … although on Christmas eve day I did give in and use a flat iron to straighten her hair. On top of the fact that it took 3-1/2 hours to do, it looked only “okay” the first day - though she liked it - and less than okay until we got back to doing something else the next week. Thankfully she was not in school and we have allot of headbands.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I happened to run into another family with two Ethiopian daughters and their hair was adorable. When I asked how they had it done, the answer was Sisterlocks! It sounded vaguely familiar and I rushed to do my research.

Sisterlocks is a patented technique of “locking” the hair into small tendrils. “Sisterlocks allows the hair's natural interlocking process to unfold, they are true ‘locks'. This means that they are not meant to be undone.” It is quite time-consuming and costly to put in, but then only need to be tightened every 6-8 weeks. In the interim, hair is much easier to style, manage, and maintain. It also encourages faster growth and looks marvelous! Both Naomi and Mom are very excited.

We will have a new blog -- Naomi’s Sisterlocks -- to track her progress and see how it evolves as her hair grows and she experiments with different styles. It will be linked to this blog page as well.

Here's some random photos of hair over the past 9 months ...

Paying It Forward

We have been amazingly blessed and Jesus provides for our needs according to His promises. Sometimes I have no idea how we make ends meet but we do. Actually, I do know … God tells us in His Word …

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”
~ Malachi 3:10

Since arriving home with the kids we have been fortunate to be able to pay it forward to (please click on the links below or see the side bar titled “Pay It Forward” to find out more about these worthy causes)

• African Widows and Orphans Project
• Ethiopia Reads
• Ethiopian Adoption Relief
• Food for Kids
• Gospel for Asia
• the Samuel Phillipson Fund (for the family of an injured Ethiopian adoptee)
• the Solomon Abraham Fund (for the family of an elder of a local Ethiopian church, killed by a drunk driver)

and of course our regular giving to our home church.

So why am I babbling on about all of this now? Well, for most of my adult life I have had the privilege of sponsoring a child through various programs in countries such as the Philippines and Mexico. Recently I received a letter stating that my current sponsored child had left the program/school in order to work and support his family (he is 16 years old).

So now we are free to open the doors of our storehouse to another child. We are choosing Ethiopia this time, in continuance of our support to the kids’ birth country. We’ll be working with Compassion International to come together as a family and choose a child who has been waiting for a sponsor. Naomi & Josiah will use part of their own tithe money to help out, and we’ll make letters to the child a family project. We’re so excited for this new addition to our family!

“Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.”
~ Psalm 82:3

Pics from school

Just some fun pics from after school program activities . . .

Banking on it

Being a student of Financial Peace University and naturally averse to debt, I want to teach my children good money management skills. We use the LearningCents Trio Bank, a clever three compartment bank for Spending, Saving and Giving. All of the money they receive - allowance, gifts, etc. is divided by rough percentage and placed into these three divvies. They each hold quite a bit of cash and coins, are completely separate, and the tops of the Spending and Giving open fairly easily to make withdrawals. The Savings opens on the bottom and is quite difficult to get into, keeping it safe from temptation.

Saving is for long-range planning for something big like college, a car, or a return trip to Ethiopia.

Giving is our tithe and helping others. When we found out about Samuel Phillipson both of the kids emptied their tithe fund to send to help his family. They are generous children and usually want to give more to the church offering than is in their bin!

Spending is used to buy snacks at school, save for “wheel shoes’ or desires. Right now they seem to think that money grows on trees and mom and Uncle Sam are an endless supply, but hopefully they will get the picture eventually. They also have to use their money to pay “fines” for misbehavior, chores unfinished, late to bed, and such. We have a whole checklist to help them be accountable.

With the recent arrival of our new social security cards, we were also able to open bank savings for both and transfer the savings bin to safer keeping. We store our true treasure in heaven, but at the same time try to be good stewards of the blessings given us on earth.

Notes on U.S. Citizenship

The mountain of paperwork required for international adoption does not end when you bring your child home. The trek along the paper trail continues with a seemingly endless barrage of steps to perform and government forms to complete.

Let me bring you up to date … the dossier is complete, immigration forms filed, court is finalized, foreign birth certificates received, passports and visas bring you home with your child(ren); new U.S. citizens. But are they?

IR-3 Visa: Well … if you met your child(ren) prior to the adoption being finalized you get an IR-3 visa. An IR-3 visa means your child is an automatic U.S. citizen and a Certificate of Citizenship will be automatically issued.

Note: It is still very strongly recommended and required in some states for some countries, to complete the registration/adoption/re-adoption for many other reasons, including obtaining a state issued birth certificate for your child, formal legal name change, insuring rights of inheritance, and obtaining a Social Security Card with the child's American name and with U.S. citizen designation.

IR-4 Visa: If you have not met your child(ren) prior to the adoption being finalized you get an IR-4 visa. This is the most common circumstance. With an IR-4 visa, after returning home with your child, you must register/adopt/re-adopt your child according to your state's adoption laws in order for your child to attain U.S. citizenship.

Permanent residents: We came home with Ethiopian birth certificates, Ethiopian court papers, an Ethiopian passport and an IR-4 visa. The kids also received their Permanent Resident Card (“Green Card”) in the mail a few weeks after arriving home. At this point they are permanent residents not U.S. citizens.

Court validation: Fill out another handful of official forms, authorize yet another background check, part with your precious irreplaceable original copies of your foreign documents, and yes, another tasty snack for the money monster and you are on your way to the adoption being valid in the U.S.. Official name and birth date changes can also be made at this time.

With our validation complete we now have U.S. court documents and U.S. birth certificates with new legal American names, and our original foreign documents back safely in our hands. Wahoo! Yes! They are now legal U.S. citizens. But can I prove it?

Social Security / Part One: With my thick bundle of all of our documents in hand I trotted down to the local social security office, took a number, and sat down to wait. Patiently, of course. Arriving at the window and feeling ever so proud of my handle on this cumbersome process and infinite organization, the wind is knocked out of my sails when I am told by the clerk that she cannot issue the kids a social security card as a U.S. citizen and cannot issue the card with their lovely new American names. She can only issue a card with permanent resident status using their Ethiopian adoption court names. The other validation paperwork is at that point “worthless” as it does not match their immigration records - i.e. green card. Sigh! (Where did that new bald spot on my head just come from?)

My choices:

1) Get them permanent resident social security card with foreign names, and change it later. Cost per child: None. Lots of hassle. Do I really want to go through this process twice?

2) Get passports. The passport instructions say a social security number must be provided or face a $500 fine. Catch-22.

3) Get replacement green cards with their new legal names. Cost per child: $290 plus $80 biometrics (fingerprints). Yikes!

4) Get a Certificate of Citizenship. Cost per child: $420 and takes from 1-1/2 to 2 years to receive. Yes, you read that correctly. Not practical for using to obtain a social security number required to file tax returns.

5) Send frantic email to adoption agency post-adoption services. Why didn’t I do this first?! They are calm, soothing, have a handle on this cumbersome process and are infinitely organized. I am smiling again, bought some Rogaine to re-grow my hair, and am armed with wonderful checklists and information sheets to expertly guide me through the red tape.

Passports: Clever loophole. I can use all zeros for social security numbers and apply as usual. We hit up Wal-Mart for flattering passport photos (which unlike mine, actually are flattering - but of course, my kids are so beautiful!), once again part with our precious irreplaceable original copies of foreign documents, and another wad of cash. Upon recommendation we request the expedited service so our items can be tracked in the mail and our precious irreplaceable original copies of foreign documents not lost by the USPS. A few weeks later the passports arrive safe and sound in the Express envelope, and - thank you Jesus - the precious irreplaceable original copies of foreign documents arrive the very same day in a plain old USPS envelope! So much for safeguarding our treasure.

Social Security / Part Two: With just the documents my agency listed in hand - no more, no less, I again confidently trot down to the local social security office, take a number, and again patiently sit down to wait. Patience was needed that day. It was an hour and twenty minutes just to get to the window. So glad I brought a book!

FINALLY my number is called and I make my way to the window, present my documents, and smile sweetly. CLERK: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the children must be present to apply.” What! ME: “I’ve been waiting an hour and a half. No one told me this the last time I was here and it’s not on the website!” Not my best moment for tact. CLERK: “I don’t care how long you’ve been waiting. Those are the rules.” … Pause … CLERK: “So you were here another time?” I briefly describe my previous visit. The clerk leaves and is gone for what seems like a very long time. He returns, takes my papers, and begins typing into the computer. I’m afraid to open my mouth. CLERK: “I don’t know. I don’t think I can do this. There is some special process for twins. I can’t find it.” More typing. I remain in stunned silence. He goes away again and returns to inform me there is really no special ruling, only that their policy is just to send the applications a few days apart to avoid consecutive numbers and the possibility of trading identities. The fact that I have a boy and a girl does not seem to weigh in the matter. No problem. After a mere 30 minutes at the window we are done! I comment that I was worried when he said the kids needed to appear. The clerk somewhat meekly replied that he had confused “First-time applicants age 12 or older must apply in person” with “12 or younger.”

We now have U.S. citizen social security cards and I can pay my taxes and they can get a job! Have you looked at the Adoption Expenses summary on my sidebar lately?

Adopting parents please note: Some social security office require all first-time applicants to appear in person. Please check with your local office.

Certificate of Citizenship: The instructions for this form state that you may use it, not that you must use it. The topic regarding its necessity crops up on the adoption web groups from time to time. There are those of the thought that the most commonly requested form of identification or citizenship is a U.S. Passport, as one cannot be obtained without being a citizen, so that having a passport is sufficient proof. And there are those who feel that the COC is the only legal and undeniable proof of citizenship, without which there always remains that small chance of deportation. Or there are those that just want to cover all possible bases to insure the citizenship of their child(ren). I am of the latter camp.

So this is where we are. The kids are U.S. citizens, have their legal American names, U.S. birth certificates, U.S. passports, and social security cards. As soon as I fill out the application and scrape up the dough - we may have to sell some of our Christmas presents on eBay - the application for their Certificate of Citizenship will be in the mail. They say the wait to get it back is 1-1/2 to 2 years. Perhaps we’ll see it by the next true (seasonal) blue moon appearing on November 21st, 2010.

Toy Packaging

Paper ripping, ribbons flying, scissors slicing … wire cutters?

The lyrics from the whimsical new Christmas tune, “Toy Packaging” by Sarah Groves pretty much sums up our Christmas morning.

Sara Groves - Toy Packaging
From the album "O Holy Night"; Label: INO Records

Nothing makes me lose my cool like
Toy packaging
Ask the kids to leave the room for
Toy packaging
I have no choice the money's spent
I've worked for hours to make a dent
I guess it's anger management
Toy packaging

Nothing makes me lose my cool like
Toy packaging
Ask the kids please leave the room it's time for
Toy packaging
I'm drawing up a battle plan
to extricate this robot man
My self-esteem is in the can
Toy packaging

In the old days you could hold a box and shake it
And hear the pieces rattling around
My eyes tear up with these grommets, tape and twisty ties
Remembering their beautiful sound

Toy Packaging
I love Toy Packaging
(Mom! Honey!)

Nothing makes me lose my cool like toy packaging
Kids you really need to leave the room, mom's opening toy packaging
I'm sorry you have to see this sight
You must be brave, no please don't cry
I promise it will be alright
I hope to have it by tonight
Nevermind this dynamite
Toy packaging

Nonetheless we did manage to extricate all the goodies from their plastic prisons. Instant hits were the inline and roller skates, and the Wii game they had been begging for almost since arrival home. Santa brought Mom a Wii Fit, but wrestling away the controls and finding time for “my turn” is no easy task. My chore the next day was rearranging and reorganizing bedrooms to make space for all of the new things. We should all have such problems!

A Christmas Prayer

Every year at Christmas
All I can see
Are pictures of the things I want
Around the tree

But this year’s a little different
I’m not thinking of myself
So my prayer for this Christmas
Is for somebody else

So I pray…
Joy To the World
Peace for every boy and girl
Hope when life is hard
Light when everything seems dark

God I know you’re listening
And you can hear
The need of every broken heart
And all their tears

I don’t have a lot to offer
Just this one simple prayer
That this Christmas everyone would know
Somebody cares…

So I pray…
Joy To the World
Peace for every boy and girl
Hope when life is hard
Light when everything seems dark

I pray that every hungry soul
Will be filled and will be warm
That not a single, solitary child
Would suffer harm

And Lord we find their ending
As we take another view
My hope is that this Christmas prayer
Would somehow come true

I pray…
Humanity would rise
And join with me
And together we’ll sing

Joy To the World (To all the world)
Peace (Peace) for every boy and girl (for every boy and girl)
(Talking bout hope) Hope when life is hard (when life is hard)
Light when everything seems dark

I pray that (I pray) every hungry soul
Will be filled and will be warm
(Not a single child) That not a single, solitary child
Would suffer harm

And Lord we find their ending
As we take another view
My hope is that this Christmas prayer
Would somehow come true…

Joy To the World
Peace for every boy and girl

"Joy to the World (A Christmas Prayer)" is the second single from Nicholas Jonas' 2004 debut album Nicholas Jonas. It was released on November 16, 2004.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Waiting for Christmas

The kids are chomping at the bit to open their gifts. It will be their first American Christmas and it didn't take much doing to get caught up in the commercialism. My excuse for getting carried away with gifts was that they started out with so little that they need to catch up ... yeah, right!

Never fond of Christmas shopping crowds, we took early Toy-R-Us and Target ad flyers and had the kids go through and mark the things they thought they might like. Naomi marked everything pink or with babies in both books. Josiah didn't like anything - but still wants everything. I'm sure we'll hear words of disgruntlement on Christmas morning. He ended up with circles around any video game that looked like fighting, as well as some nasty looking guns and such. Sigh. Lists were made and shopping completed in just a couple of trips well before the Thanksgiving rush. Whew! I took it all to work for safe keeping and wrapping out of sight of curious eyes (and hands). Once at home they instantly were on to my color-code and counted gifts just to insure everything was fair. Natch!

Most years I painstakingly decorate my tree with many beautiful, fragile, and meaningful ornaments I have been collecting since my teens. It is always a source of much pride and joy for me at the holidays. I had to work very hard to let go of myself and let the kids decorate the tree. Other than the tendency to put everything directly in front of them so there was a one foot swatch about three feet from the ground that was decorated leaving the rest of the tree bare, they did a good job. With a bit of coaching and moving some of those stacked on a single branch, it didn't turn out half bad. And the pride and joy I feel for my children when I look at this tree far outweighs anything felt for past efforts.

GLORY HALLELUJAH! THE LORD HAS COME!!
Come Christmas morning amid the wrapping and surprise you can bet we will be celebrating and rejoicing the birth of Jesus!!!

A Season of Thanks

Words of thanks from my sweet daughter:

"I'm thankful for my family, my mom, my brother, my dad. I came on a plane with my family to America from Ethiopia. My mom and my dad buy me clothes and presents. When Josiah and I came to America my mom and dad were happy and I am happy too."

And Mom is thrilled that her kids are happy!!! A bigger blessing I could not wish for. It is an utter joy!

We had a lovely Thanksgiving in Montana with the whole family - all of my brothers and sister together is not a common occurrence these days. My sister and sister-in-law pitched in to make a great Thanksgiving meal! Nonetheless, my kids ate only the dark turkey meat and a bit of dinner roll, but could not be talked into white meat, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, sweet potatoes, or any of the traditional holiday fare. Not even the pumpkin pie!

We had an uneventful trip home on Sunday despite early road reports of closures in southern Wyoming. Praise God! I am sure it was He who was responsible as we were all sending up prayers for a safe journey.

My love and prayers for all my friends during this blessed season and always . . . 

How to tell your kids really love you ...

I was laying in bed the other night watching the kids hit a balloon back and forth. They were supposed to be getting in bed, but hey! it wasn't a school night and I love to watch them play when they are not inflicting or threatening bodily harm to each other. The balloon came sailing over near my face so I bopped it away. "Mom!" they complained, "Why you hit it? I hit you in the head, I win." Ahhh! I could just feel the love! Ain't life grand?!!

To His Glory!

Kids for Hire

The floors are swept and vacuumed, the dishes are done, laundry is caught up, bathrooms are clean, I dusted for probably the second time since the kids have been home (that always seems to take low priority), backpacks are ready for school tomorrow, and even some growing piles on closet shelves and in the garage have been tidied. How did this happen?

Naomi and Josiah spent Saturday at uncle Sam's helping with yard work - complete with breather masks to keep out the leaf dust - earning $25 apiece (they promptly asked to put their $5 bill in the church offering) - and leaving Mom to some free time alone. Did I take a long, hot bubble bath or leisurely read a book? No! A cleaning frenzy!

And now they are at a friend's house playing. What is a girl to do!?! I think I have forgotten how to relax . . . guess I'll pester ya-all with my persistent blog updates. And I still have an hour to read that book before I pick them up. Our God is an awesome God!

Halloween weekend adventures

Ahhhhh! I've never spent Halloween anywhere warm, and even though it was mild in the beautiful Colorado Rockies this year, we were relaxing in 90+ degree Arizona sunshine. It was the kids first airplane trip since arriving from Ethiopia. They said they were scared - and admitted to being scared when we flew from Ethiopia as well - but did great as always!

My heroic Spiderman and beautiful fairy princess made a killing stopping at house after house where many were sitting on lawn chairs in the driveways or on the back of pickup tailgates. The kids didn't even have to walk up to the door! One neighborhood cul-de-sac had a semi-circle of chairs at the entrance so they didn't even have to go down the street! So not only did they not have to freeze to death, they were spoiled by such laziness and posh treatment. By the end of the evening, which lasted but a brief hour-and-a-half, their bulging sacks of candy were so heavy they were begging for assistance to carry them. And Halloween evening was their 4th haul!!! At home they had two Trunk-or-Treats (going from spookily decorated car trunk to car trunk - for one of the events we waited in line an hour and 20 minutes just to get to the admissions gate - what we won't do for our kids!) and one community event at the soccer stadium. These kids have it made! Luckily they are very generous and gave away all their booty from the first 3 outings before we went on the official Trick-or-Treat soujourn.

Along with their very successful candy trek, we visited the Phoenix Police Museum where they got to dress in police clothes and sit in a squad car and on a motorcycle. We also took to a hot and dusty trail for their first horseback ride. Fortunately we went in the morning before it got too bad outside. Even though they only got to plod along, both enjoyed the experience. We were hoping to see some fun desert critters, but made do with a squirrel and a lizard.

We had gone down to Phoenix to attend the retirement party for my long-time friend and she generously let us stay at her fancy-schmancy condo on a Mesa golf course. The kids love to swim so in the afternoon we headed to the pool. As we arrived one of the gentlemen there said, "Oh, you just missed it." "Missed what?" we asked. It is a retirement complex and apparently the pool is only open to kids from noon to 2:00 p.m. We arrived right at 2:00 on the nose. We pleaded ignorance and asked if anyone would mind we swam for just a little while. You could tell by some of the faces they wanted to object but no one was brave enough to do so. I told the kids to keep to themselves, hold down the noise, and don't splash anyone! But the last straw was when they went to jump in the jacuzzi. No sooner had their little toes touched the water, than the waiting vultures pounced. "You can't go in there!!! No one under 16 is allowed. It is too hot for them!" We made no mention of the fact that they used the jacuzzi all summer at home, thanked them for their generosity in letting us use the pool outside of approved hours, and high tailed it back home. Yikes! Remind me to refrain from becoming thusly tarnished when I hit my golden years.

My Snippets

SNIPPET: –noun
1. a small piece of anything (especially a piece that has been snipped off); a small bit, scrap, fragment, or morsel
2. Informal; a small or mischievous person.

LEARNING LANGUAGE

* Response to a foot rub: "Yummy!"
* Wondering how far we will be driving: "Big minutes?"
* Asked how the sore throat and sniffles are doing: "Finished"
* Wanting to leave early for school: "Mom, today fast go, okay?"
* Are you feeling grouchy? - "You grouch me!" - I'm making you grouchy? "Yes!"
* One of the first multi-word sentences, "Are you crazy?!" Complete with appropriate intonations and facial expression. (Where did you learn that?)

SIT, KNIT, CHIT (CHAT)

* Both kids learned to knit in their after school program. It is such a "warm, fuzzy" when we are all sitting on the couch together in the evening - with no TV - and all three of us are knitting and just talking with each other. We're so "Leave It To Beaver"!

HANDSHAKES, HUGS, & KISSES

* Josiah no longer wants to be hugged in front of other people, and fusses grumpily if I try . . . the other day we arrived at school and didn't get our usual clandestine hug at the car before going in. After storing his backpack he said, "Mom, come outside, Josiah tell you something." We walked back out into the hallway and he threw his arms around me and gave me my good-bye kiss! (Mom's eyes get misty!)

* Naomi still loves her hugs and kisses but we have added our own secret "handshake" . . . an Ethiopian custom is to press thumb pads together with someone and then you kiss your thumb where they touched each other. We added the ASL sign for "I Love You" followed by a high five. So it's thumb-kiss-ILY-high5!

ETHIOPIA IN DENVER

* Here's a link to a Google map of Ethiopian restaurants, markets, churches, salons, etc. in the Denver area, one of the top 10 U.S. cities with largest Ethiopian community, estimated at 20,000 to 30,000.

S P O R T S

* Josiah's soccer team once again led their league with a 7-1 win record. The boys had some tough competition but played their hearts out and impressed everyone. The last week of the season they had a "professional" training session with one of the Colorado Rapids players! It was a great opportunity and they got some good tips.

* Naomi is preparing for a dance recital in December. Her class will be doing a combo ballet and tap routine called "Put Me In Coach." Time to charge up the video camera batteries!!

* Josiah and Naomi both started Taekwondo this week. It was supposed to be an off-season sport between soccer sessions, but I am very impressed with the instructors and the class. The head instructor studied under General Choi Hong Hi, who is considered to be the founder of Taekwondo. The discipline and respect that is taught really reinforces what I am trying to instill in them at home. And I think is better received coming from an outside source. The class is a mixed group open to all ages so I am considering enrolling myself next month! Better than just sitting there on my rear and watching for an hour and 3/4. The instructor says it would also improve the chances of the kids sticking it out. I asked them if they would be embarrassed or didn't want me to join in, and both said 'no.' The funny part is that the hierarchy of the class is structured by rank - first by belt, and then by length of study within the belt level. Since Naomi and Josiah will have started before me, they will be ranked higher than I am. They'll love that!


LA'BRI-UT: -verb/adjective
1. Hebrew: be blessed

“The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”

~ Numbers 6:24-26 (NKJV)


Until we meet again,
Love,
Nancy